It's GraMel's Birthday!

Merry Moose Knuckle Monday!!

I am gonna bet there will be some Xmas morning sightings that could be captured by new gifts of phones and cameras. 

It would make this CaMel's Birthday/Xmas pretty damn special to see everyone was able to enjoy the THRILL of the Magic MOOSE KNUCKLE.

So your mission should you choose to accept is to 

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep a close eye out and be ready to capture a rare Xmas Knuckle!

When do I make people afraid of me?

I was reading through this "18 Questions Everyone's Too Afraid to Ask" and came across this question that made me think. 

"When do I make people afraid of me?"
The comment on the bottom read:
 "All of us have more power than we think—whether it's over an employee, a spouse, a friend or our kids. How do you use it?"

I am very aware of my ability to intimidate folks. 

I am a mother. 

 I have used fear to initiate chores, better behavior, school attendance. I knew it was not the correct manner to accomplish things but I was never taught the skills to cope any differently. 

There are certainly times I present myself in a way that will intentionally keep people at bay. 

Other times it is purely their perception of the 'cover' they see.  

So that leads me to ponder what fear is?

I believe fear is fueled by assumption. 

I hear my dad's voice saying over and over "assuming makes an ass out of you and me". 

He was right. 

We assume that due to our actions/others actions /situation that something bad/uncomfortable/scary will occur.

 Naturally we don't want to be in that kind of situation so we allow fear to keep us from moving forward. 

I don't feel I have ever given anyone a reason to 'fear' me due to my actions.

 I am well aware that some 'fear' me due to their own assumptions. 

When people bring harm into my bubble there are ample reactive actions I have available to me. 

I believe the only way to protect myself, is to remove myself  from the person/situations/place. 

In the past using this measure of self preservation has occasionally instilled fear into those who created the situation. 

That made me uncomfortable as I know that feeling fear gives what/who you are afraid of  'power' over you, your thoughts and actions.

I don't EVER want that kind of 'power'.

 Its not healthy

My own experiences have taught me that spending so much energy on something you have no control over means you are not spending that energy on what truly matters. 

Your own self growth.

I am selfish.

The 'powers' I do have guide me through the challenges of being a good huMan so I can love myself. A struggle on the best of days! 

  I am worthy and with that knowledge I am able to feel and share love with others.

Mindful that the cycle begins again. 

As with love comes risk and with risk comes fear...

BUT 

With communication comes better understanding.  

With understanding comes compassion.

With compassion comes love.

With love... comes peace.

Those thoughts of peace, if only inner, take all my fears away! 

EDIT

In using myself as an example I wanted to show just how our fears cloud our judgment.

Fears make people hostile, They stop knowledge from being absorbed, they can replace reality and leave us lost.

Fears start wars, stop positive movement and end lives.


Our fears hold more power than necessary and we need to try to put them into perspective

My pet Dragon!

I am a VIVID, Lucid dreamer and last night in my dream I had a 'pet' 'elf' dragon and he was the light of the world where I lived. He was shot by some people and passed..

The days after his death people showed their respect by making their curtains a triangle to represent his pointy ears. When I looked across the land it warmed my heart to see all the love and support. in the windows.

The moral of this dream is no matter how alone we may feel there are places we can go where you can find warmth and empathy to sooth your soul.

It is within that knowledge I found my AWW for the day.

This Camels Constitution.

I am often reminded by my brother how our lives started out the same and I should be thrilled when he tells me I am just like our father or  that I was "raised" right. 

His words fill me with anger and disappointment as I am then reminded how very different our lives actually have been. 

Now I am very aware that my early education was critical in helping create who I am today. 

I also know that our mission when raising our babies is to fill them with the knowledge necessary to live a life filled with wonder and joy.

When I left home at 13 I did so with wisdom that only comes from being broken. 

I had learned the very important lesson that the only person I could trust is myself.  

It was up to me from that point on to instill in myself those traits that would help to create a person I could be proud of.

In following years I made those bad choices that have hurt both myself and others.

It became obvious very early how different I was from other people. 

It was with that difference in mind I decided it would be prudent to have a warning label so people would be aware immediately of the hazards that may result from interactions with me!

  I installed on my ass, the well known symbol for POISON so there would be no confusion as to the level of danger that can result from interaction.

 This is another fine example of how I use those early lessons in present day life

 Consent is Critical. 

Recently a situation arose in my world where another's actions affected me in a manner I had not felt for years.

This time healing will be fueled by understanding and compassion as years of personal growth now reside within these HuMMps. 

It is there that I have tucked all those things I have learned along the way.  

How I judge if I am on the right track to being the person that my parents were not.

For THAT is my mission. 

And this is my mission statement

Do I practice what I preach. Standing behind my words with conviction. Regardless of the outcome.

Can I recognize when I am wrong and put in the effort needed to seek forgiveness, apologize and make amends?

Am I  able to help people feel comfortable in my company or does my overly in your face personality push people away before they have a chance to get to know me?  

Do I have the patience for those situations that test my limits or do I make others uncomfortable when faced with not getting things when I want then?

Can I remain calm in the face of adversity?

Am I able to hear criticism about my actions without reacting defensively. 

Can I recognize when I need to step back and regroup and avoid harming another by uncontrolled emotion?

When I find myself f challenged daily by those who fill the air with anger and adversity am I able to step back and assess the entire situation. taking all things into consideration as I attempt to   understand another's views.

Do I stand up for what and who I believe in and is that support cultivated in a manner that encourages positive outcomes?

Do I feel what I am contributing to the world has the ability to make a difference within the bubble I exist?

Do I remain optimistic even when my good intentions continue to go awry?

Does I allow my ego to be  take hold and drive me into a wall or am I able to remain grounded no matter my good fortune?

Do I know the difference between fantasy and reality? Want and need?

Do I trust my intuition even when its truth isn't suited to my tastes? 

When the universe shares another life lesson with me , am I able to embrace the knowledge and utilize it in my life? Or, am I a stubborn return offender whose fate is determined by a array of wayward decisions.

Am I able to embrace the beauty that lies within, feed it with love and allow it to blossom no matter what the 'outside' world may believe beauty to be. 

Am I able to forgive those who chose their own selfish satisfaction over the safety and well being of another.   Will I stop and examine who they are, where they came from and what may have contributed to their harmful actions? 

Am I able to apologize with sincerity, allowing others to feel they have been heard, understood and not taken for granted. 

Am I able to share my feelings openly with those I love so they always know how important they are in my life. 

Do I accept that others opinion of me can often be created by their own fears and insecurities? Does that knowledge empower me or anger me?

Can I practice patience while being judged, smile while being sneered at and accept as unconditionally as possible while not being accepted myself?

I do not like the celebration of Christmas..

I do not like the celebration of Christmas.. 

Not because I am NOT religious.. 

NOR is it because it IS MY birthday.

I don't like this holiday because it brings out the WORST in people as they deal with feelings of Inadequacy, competition, guilt, duty, anger, shame, expectations. fear.  All feelings that make an individuals struggles during this time even more difficult that any other time of the year. Forcing people into a world of darkness that even the strongest have trouble overcoming.

These very things do not represent the joy, love, inclusion that Christmas is "supposed" to be all about.  They represent a society that is ruled by all the things that are the most UNIMPORTANT in life.....GREED!

Yes the season brings a form of giving. I struggle with the fact we are not sharing that compassion all year long?  

IS there a reason we do not supporting our poor, veterans or homeless.  
Why do we not take care of our mentally ill, our abused or our elderly in a manner  That we would want to be taken care of ourselves should we be in that situation. 

We certainly cant be proud of ourselves, our country as we are failing in these areas. Holidays or not!! (does that show you something?)

Christmas is JUST ANOTHER DAY.. Made important for reasons that may have been noble at the time but the few that still follow that idea are just that, a few!

I don't mind you celebrate this day.. But do me a favor.. Be real about it.  

Teach your children that it is NOT about what you get but what you give.

That giving should not be of a monetary value but in the currency of kindness, compassion, sharing, understanding and community.

That the most important thing you can receive for the holidays is the ability to continue to exist in a world where we are the creators of our happiness.

Perhaps change can happen.

Perhaps we as a society can give EVERYONE the freedom that religion has has the pleasure of for centuries. 

Perhaps with the opening of peoples eyes they will learn that we can be a strong society with rules that come from informed, proved experience rather than a story book.

Perhaps change can happen, it seems like the time has finally come.

May we always be Grateful. November 11 2015

Bravery comes in many forms.. 

Today we honor the brave that is within the men and women that put their lives before ours to serve and protect this fine country of ours.

They are often humble, strong, dedicated individuals that believe in freedom and peace.

They spend their lives in highly stressful situations and return to their families with scars that can impede them from enjoying the very freedom they ensured we had.

Those outstanding individuals deserve our respect, compassion and support.

Most of all they deserve to be remembered, honored and celebrated for protecting where we call home.

Thank you can never encompass my gratitude.

So you call people out on being "Stupid"?

Regarding pictures and posts that are calling people out on being "Stupid"

Do you really think you are a better person because you say/post these things??????

To ME(IMO) it makes you look mean spirited and revengeful.

What ever happened to live and let live.. if you don't like them then stop putting your energy into them.

For in the end.. if you are still thinking of them enough to post this shit.. then they win!
And that is NOT stupid at all!!

Make a difference

Once upon a time, there was an old man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach every morning before he began his work. Early one morning, he was walking along the shore after a big storm had passed and found the vast beach littered with starfish as far as the eye could see, stretching in both directions.

Off in the distance, the old man noticed a small boy approaching. As the boy walked, he paused every so often and as he grew closer, the man could see that he was occasionally bending down to pick up an object and throw it into the sea. The boy came closer still and the man called out, “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?”

The young boy paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean. The tide has washed them up onto the beach and they can’t return to the sea by themselves,” the youth replied. “When the sun gets high, they will die, unless I throw them back into the water.”

The old man replied, “But there must be tens of thousands of starfish on this beach. I’m afraid you won’t really be able to make much of a difference.”

The boy bent down, picked up yet another starfish and threw it as far as he could into the ocean. Then he turned, smiled and said, “It made a difference to that one!”

This Thanksgiving..

As you celebrate Thanksgiving with your friends/family take a moment to ponder how very fortunate we are here in Canada and the things in your life you take for granted..

 **The ability to walk to the store without the threat of being bombed,
***Full access to clean water and nutritious food.
***Safe schools for our children to be educated.
**An Army that only accepts people after the age of 18 therefor not forcing our children to kill for their country.
**The RIGHT TO VOTE and decide who we want to lead our country. Decisions we can make from education and not fear!
** The ability to have the means to raise our children, perhaps we sit in poverty but even that is more than so many other children in the world.
*** Human trafficking not being the MAIN reason our children go missing!
*** The sun on your face, not clouded by smog that fills your lungs and smothers life.
*** Equal (ISH) opportunity for both genders
*** Recognition of non-traditional relationships.
*** Access to information via books, television/radio/Internet

We have so many things available to us that others across our world can't enjoy. Those in different lands are no different than we.. Simply humans with different circumstances.  Circumstances that could very well be ours!

Every time we whine about how much our lives suck think outside your bubble and thank the universe for providing YOU with all the things that make your life easy and peaceful.

Share your Gratitude as Things could be SO DIFFERENT for you and yours.

Happy thanksgiving Everyone..

Keep it real.. Keep you safe.

What a wicked Summer!!

Here are some of the amazing adventures I have had this summer in my supercalafragalistic Studio!!

Thank you Everyone who has come and allowed me to help them in their expression. It means way more to me than making money.. 

The smiles, tears and obvious excitement upon seeing your new installation is what fuels me!

You all make my world so much fun and help to teach me so much

I would not be able to be the CaMel I am without your contributions.

I am very grateful for our relationships.

Tim and Tom have it right!!

Celebrating Brain Food!!

Today marks the end of summer for so many friends as they embark on continuing their education.
 I wanted to share my joy in their return to their building by sending them a little note!!


Hey Brave knowledge obtainer!!

Congratulations to all the HuMans who have started their commitment  to feed their brains for another year.

May your experience be filled with joy, wonder and awe.

May you build relationships that feed your soul and gain knowledge that will help form the foundation of your life.

May your struggles to get to class, do your homework and poop in public get easier with every coming day.

Finally, I hope you help your ability to absorb by eating a little breakfast when you get up and may your lunches never be a letdown!

Three cheers for education..without it life is a challenge that can bring unnecessary blunders in all aspects of our existence!

When we stop learning our spirits wither.

When we recognize it we must work to fix it!!

"Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare."

I have many many visions but sadly until recently my "Action Motivator" was busted.. ish.
So i went to my Dr and told him of all the things I was experiencing and he gave me a test to see if I could have Grown up ADD.

After reviewing the test He promptly prescribed me Vyvanse, a medication that can help my focus and get up and go.

I used to beat myself up all the time because I wasn't doing things that I had planned or I felt tired all the time.

It is a great pleasure for me to now know there was something more to it then my being a lazy unfocused sloth! I am finding myself more focused and organized, more energy and the get up and go to do the things I have been thinking about forever!!

My point.. don't always think you can't change.. if there may be something wrong I suggest going to your Dr and being honest about your feelings and symptoms. Life is too short to not take care of ourselves.

We are the ONLY ones in charge of our happiness.. If we don't put the work into ourselves all that surround us are affected.

In my desire to present the best possible me to the world I needed to face my own "faults" and put in the work. It is hard at times but the rewards are totally worth the efforts.

Don't wast time.. We don't have that much!

Our CaVes

Last night when I got back from my massage my beautiful was waiting for me in the driveway as she had just gotten home from work.

We stood at the doorway and had a beautiful welcome home kiss before I "picked" her up and draGGed her through the threshold of OUR Caves which became officially ours at approx 4pm Friday afternoon.

I have never wanted to own my own home as I understand the immense responsibility it brings with it as well as the deep representation it means to me to embark on such a adventure with the one I love.

I have had the privilege of being in two of my close friends weddings this summer I have seen what that commitment looks like when people get married,

In MY world this CaVe purchase is akin as we have pledged our commitment and purchased our foundation in which we will continue to build our amazing lives together.

It shows me that we are both dedicated to our future together, willing to make sacrifices, embark on scary adventures, create safe and loving spaces that family and friends can thrive within.

It means we are committed to building upon this foundation a CaVe that is filled with warm, calm and welcoming energy that encourage growth and healing, laughter and play.

It proved to me that we both felt that our love is a forever thing and worthy of the investment. 

I gave me a sense of hope and security I didn't know I was missing. Proving to me that I and our lives together are worth the commitment for her to put that time and money into our future.

There were very few bumps in the procuring of our caves but even still it was enough to raise the stress levels and cause us to bicker more than we do when we sew together.(which is the ONLY time we have words)

My beautiful is our main money provider and this is a big purchase so trying to keep her calm and reassured that this wasn't going to be like the last experience she had in her house buying history, where she was taken for a shit ton of money and confidence, was quite a challenge.

It is sometimes very hard to try and help someone see that things will be ok.  In the end all we can do is learn to trust and breath and let whatever is going to happen, happen.

It has been proven to me over and over in my life that things happen for a purpose and that we are not given more than we can handle. I firmly believe that the universe meant for this to be and it make it pretty obvious from how smooth the entire process has been.

I have always been the domestic CaMel of the CaVes as I am the one home with my business. I have able to take care of my beautiful as she works her long shifts so all she has to focus on is saving lives(or helping them leave this world).

As of yesterday my role has switched to that of "Custodian CaMel"

I will continue to be responsible for the smooth running of our CaVes and my business that resides within. Although now I am able to make some changes in the CaVes and will be needing some assistance to do so.

As we are now officially broke I can't pay folks for their skills but I can BARTER.
So.. if you have some of the skills I am in need of.. and when I mean skills I mean you have done this before and can do it properly, safely and reasonably I would be very interested in trading skills with you.

In order to have a spare room for guests, fun and most important our Grandson HaVok I am going to be eventually moving my studio to the back of the house and that will require a carpenter to take down and make me a few walls/shelves

I also need some work done to bring up the end of my driveway so it is not so sketchy. I believe I have a fella to do that but I am requiring advice as to the product I should put down. ie: gravel/pavement stuff.

I have some studio work that needs to be done.. ie: data input (i need to set up a new computer tracking system from scratch. I have the program just need things inputted and inventory taken etc.

So far that is it for now. If you think you would like to barter with me then please let me know and we can figure it out. I LOVE me a good barter and am looking forward to all the great energy that will go into creating our improved CaVe experience!

So with that I must say THANK YOU to my most beautiful Michelle​. I love you with my every breath and am so grateful for your patience, understanding, belief, support and warm love that you cascade over me on a daily. You, my love, are My world and I want to do nothing in life but make you proud, secure and happy to have chosen me to spend your life with.

I am eagerly anticipating our future together and appreciate you more than I could ever properly express.

You my Prey are my everything!

Privledge

There are so many discussions on privilege and I think this video says it all. 
watch this video!!
We can all do our part to make change so someday the gaps wont be there!

lets talk about Consent

I had an experience yesterday that made me want to share this again. I was witness to a man saying that a woman DESERVED to be raped due to how she dressed. I was outraged and could not believe my ears. 

Sadly that attitude is common among men his age and younger and we need to reeducate them that they are WRONG!!

Consent is EVERYTHING

Watch THIS!!

What feeds me?

I have been spending some time in the sweat shop this past few weeks which has been fun and productive! 

It makes me laugh as it is a hobby I screw up in ALL the time. I would like to blame my "Bag Therapy" but I am pretty sure its just excitement, stubborn headed and multi tasking that leads me astray.

It is pretty exciting to actually wear what I create and even more exciting when my beautiful gives her stamp of approval and sports a CaMel creation. 

The beauty of this recent stitching spree is that I am feeling more and more inspired. Renewing a drive within that has been silent for a while. 

Bit by bit my life gets even more outstanding. 

I am grateful I have the ability to appreciate what I have been given.

Even more so for 'feeling' worthy of it!

Thank you Universe.. 

Our Gay Babies!

There are many contributions to the conversation about being gay but I believe this may just be the one to pay attention to.

The only things that make us different in the world is money and education. Both of those things are a result of our choices in life and we can change (mostly) if we are not happy.

Being gay will never be something you can change. It is certainly something you can ignore and push down inside. It is something you can try to hide from others and even yourself at times but you wont be able to change it!

Most people that are gay realize it from a early age and it has been proved time and time again that who we are surrounded with reflects how well we will be able to accept who we are.

We choose how we deal with those in our lives that are struggling with self acceptance and presenting who they are to the world.

When it is introduced by those we love as something we need to hide or be ashamed of it changes how accepting we are of ourselves.

Our 'Tribe' influence us in the most impressionable times of our growth. It is within that circle that we need to be encouraged, enlightened and accepted.

Our children are the future, our backbone to tomorrow. Would you want your car running with no tires, your house with no roof?
No,  you would want the foundation to be solid, a strong base to build upon so it can exist throughout the years and protect the jewels that lie within.

Our children are our jewels, lets treat them as such. Polishing them so their sparkle blinds the world.

CaMels Thoughts on finding love!

I had the privilege of being the  Maid of Honor for a close friend  this past weekend. 

I have been in one wedding and it was my mothers. No question this time it was going to be much different and I would have to try to live up to some of the traditions that help make it more fun.

I knew it was normal for the MoH to do a speech at the reception.  I had been informed I didn't need to worry about that so I was very non committal about the entire thing. 

I have not known Debbie and Richard long enough that I have stories of our growing up. We all used to spend a lot of time together so I know some very interesting things about them yet none of those relevant to this situation or audience.

The evening of the rehearsal I got to spend some time with both of them and some of their family members. Everyone was in such awesome spirits and working together to prepare for the next days ceremony. 

I came home with the plan on putting together a toast of sorts for the next day. I wanted to make it short and sweet but after the words started I had difficulty stopping them.

The result was a collection on things I feel important in creating a great foundation to being a lovable/loving huMan.

I stood before my friends and shared my thoughts. They flowed from my face with ease along with some questionable language. Their message traveling on the winds of laughter.. 

Once finished and seated I felt a warmth in my belly. That fuzzy. fun feeling you get when you know your heart grew a little bigger that day!

I think we are so very lucky to be able to find a person to share our everything with. 

Life is to outstanding to do alone.
Congrats Debbie and Richard..
May your lives together be glorious!

Camel’s thoughts on finding love.

·         

We have to love ourselves for only then will we truly feel love

·         

We have to be ourselves and continue to do so not matter what. If not we will not attract that person that loves who we truly are.

·         

We need to work really hard to leave our past in our past. Keeping our minds clear and our hearts open.

·         

We have to be honest with ourselves about the differences between wants and needs, fantasy and reality.

·         

We must continuously hone our imagination where our sense of adventure lives.

·         

We should always welcome a chance to embark on a new mission even if it scares us or we may fail.

·         

We have to laugh. Often and loudly. At ourselves, with others and at life!!

·         

We have to remember that we are all equal, Yet so very different.

·         

We have to be kind, to everyone, everything, always. Not the easiest thing to do but the rewards are so worth the personal effort!

·         

We have to learn to breath, without that simple action we are not alive. You see the problem this presents when it comes to attraction and love!!

·         

We have to realize that everything has purpose, lessons to help you as you live your life. Pay attention, growth comes from learning, repetition can be time consuming.  We don’t have a lot of that!

·         

Today’s purpose was to allow us to share in the magic of love. Allowing us to experience the joy when two people commit to each other. Pride as we witness this act of devotion and elation as we all celebrate together.

·         

My wish is that through the years your love for each other will deepen and grow. That years from now you will look back on this day, your wedding day, as the day you loved each other the least.

·         

Let us all raise our glass to Debbie and Richard

Thank you for bringing us all together to share this adventure with you.

May life bring you years of fun missions that see you running around in capes and butterfly wings!!

What horrible creatures we are!

“When the Last Tree Is Cut Down, the Last Fish Eaten, and the Last Stream Poisoned, You Will Realize That You Cannot Eat Money.”

Telling the truth to our babies.

The more knowledge we have of life and all its aspects the better equipped we are to make good decisions.

Yesterday I shared a link that showed a very graphic yet GREAT sex education book. I asked how old do you think a child should be before they learn this stuff.

                                         
 

I never hid anything from my daughter. Yet of course even though she had that knowledge she still made some bad choices but at least I felt confident she has some great information in her little head to make those decisions.

Not everyone agrees that a child should be told everything and I can see that there are some things that are age sensitive as comprehension comes after a few years of breathing. What concerns me is the amount of education our children get from each other, tv, internet and school and NOT from where it should come from.. Us, their parents.

I encourage people to always be honest with their spawn. Especially about the big things, Sex,marriage, gender equality, Death, education, self esteem, kindness, self respect, self worth and money. These are the things we as huMans ALL experience in one way or another. Why on earth would you want to have people running around with misinformation and sharing that with you or your children. That only confuses things and starts a ball rolling that might end up spatted against a big ole wall!

There are so many different ways to teach our kids these days with some amazing "props" ie: books, movies, puppets. To keep them in the dark is not doing them or the world any good. Allow them all the information so they can make educated choices and we will see a lot less confusion in our world!

We owe it to our little leaders to start them out right.. We know so much more now than we did 20 years ago. 

We need and can to do better!!