I am often reminded by my brother how our lives started out the same and I should be thrilled when he tells me I am just like our father or that I was "raised" right.
His words fill me with anger and disappointment as I am then reminded how very different our lives actually have been.
Now I am very aware that my early education was critical in helping create who I am today.
I also know that our mission when raising our babies is to fill them with the knowledge necessary to live a life filled with wonder and joy.
When I left home at 13 I did so with wisdom that only comes from being broken.
I had learned the very important lesson that the only person I could trust is myself.
It was up to me from that point on to instill in myself those traits that would help to create a person I could be proud of.
In following years I made those bad choices that have hurt both myself and others.
It became obvious very early how different I was from other people.
It was with that difference in mind I decided it would be prudent to have a warning label so people would be aware immediately of the hazards that may result from interactions with me!
I installed on my ass, the well known symbol for POISON so there would be no confusion as to the level of danger that can result from interaction.
This is another fine example of how I use those early lessons in present day life
Consent is Critical.
Recently a situation arose in my world where another's actions affected me in a manner I had not felt for years.
This time healing will be fueled by understanding and compassion as years of personal growth now reside within these HuMMps.
It is there that I have tucked all those things I have learned along the way.
How I judge if I am on the right track to being the person that my parents were not.
For THAT is my mission.
And this is my mission statement
Do I practice what I preach. Standing behind my words with conviction. Regardless of the outcome.
Am I able to help people feel comfortable in my company or does my overly in your face personality push people away before they have a chance to get to know me?
Do I have the patience for those situations that test my limits or do I make others uncomfortable when faced with not getting things when I want then?
Can I remain calm in the face of adversity?
Am I able to hear criticism about my actions without reacting defensively.
Can I recognize when I need to step back and regroup and avoid harming another by uncontrolled emotion?
When I find myself f challenged daily by those who fill the air with anger and adversity am I able to step back and assess the entire situation. taking all things into consideration as I attempt to understand another's views.
Do I stand up for what and who I believe in and is that support cultivated in a manner that encourages positive outcomes?
Do I feel what I am contributing to the world has the ability to make a difference within the bubble I exist?
Do I remain optimistic even when my good intentions continue to go awry?
Does I allow my ego to be take hold and drive me into a wall or am I able to remain grounded no matter my good fortune?
Do I know the difference between fantasy and reality? Want and need?
Do I trust my intuition even when its truth isn't suited to my tastes?
When the universe shares another life lesson with me , am I able to embrace the knowledge and utilize it in my life? Or, am I a stubborn return offender whose fate is determined by a array of wayward decisions.
Am I able to embrace the beauty that lies within, feed it with love and allow it to blossom no matter what the 'outside' world may believe beauty to be.
Am I able to forgive those who chose their own selfish satisfaction over the safety and well being of another. Will I stop and examine who they are, where they came from and what may have contributed to their harmful actions?
Am I able to apologize with sincerity, allowing others to feel they have been heard, understood and not taken for granted.
Am I able to share my feelings openly with those I love so they always know how important they are in my life.
Do I accept that others opinion of me can often be created by their own fears and insecurities? Does that knowledge empower me or anger me?
Can I practice patience while being judged, smile while being sneered at and accept as unconditionally as possible while not being accepted myself?