Sunday, December 20, 2015

When do I make people afraid of me?

I was reading through this "18 Questions Everyone's Too Afraid to Ask" and came across this question that made me think. 

"When do I make people afraid of me?"
The comment on the bottom read:
 "All of us have more power than we think—whether it's over an employee, a spouse, a friend or our kids. How do you use it?"

I am very aware of my ability to intimidate folks. 

I am a mother. 
 I have used fear to initiate chores, better behavior, school attendance. I knew it was not the correct manner to accomplish things but I was never taught the skills to cope any differently. 

There are certainly times I present myself in a way that will intentionally keep people at bay. 
Other times it is purely their perception of the 'cover' they see.  

So that leads me to ponder what fear is?

I believe fear is fueled by assumption
I hear my dad's voice saying over and over "assuming makes an ass out of you and me". 
He was right. 

We assume that due to our actions/others actions /situation that something bad/uncomfortable/scary will occur.

 Naturally we don't want to be in that kind of situation so we allow fear to keep us from moving forward. 

I don't feel I have ever given anyone a reason to 'fear' me due to my actions.

 I am well aware that some 'fear' me due to their own assumptions. 

When people bring harm into my bubble there are ample reactive actions I have available to me. 
I believe the only way to protect myself, is to remove myself  from the person/situations/place. 

In the past using this measure of self preservation has occasionally instilled fear into those who created the situation. 

That made me uncomfortable as I know that feeling fear gives what/who you are afraid of  'power' over you, your thoughts and actions.

I don't EVER want that kind of 'power'.
 Its not healthy

My own experiences have taught me that spending so much energy on something you have no control over means you are not spending that energy on what truly matters. 

Your own self growth.

I am selfish.

The 'powers' I do have guide me through the challenges of being a good huMan so I can love myself. A struggle on the best of days! 

  I am worthy and with that knowledge I am able to feel and share love with others.
Mindful that the cycle begins again. 

As with love comes risk and with risk comes fear...
BUT 
With communication comes better understanding.  
With understanding comes compassion.
With compassion comes love.
With love... comes peace.


Those thoughts of peace, if only inner, take all my fears away! 


EDIT

In using myself as an example I wanted to show just how our fears cloud our judgment.

Fears make people hostile, They stop knowledge from being absorbed, they can replace reality and leave us lost.

Fears start wars, stop positive movement and end lives.


Our fears hold more power than necessary and we need to try to put them into perspective



2 comments:

  1. Wow you always make my world a better place just from knowing you

    ReplyDelete