Friday, March 21, 2014

Forgot to buckle up!

Its been almost a year since my dad passed 

It's been almost a year since I lost track. 

It's been almost a year if self abuse

It's been almost a year of avoidance 

It's been almost a year since I stopped taking care of myself. 

It's been almost a month since I started to feel a slight change in my head. 

I have been doing a bit more sewing this last few weeks trying to get back into it. It has been somewhat frustrating but it's starting to be fun again. 

I have missed that feeling.

I have Missed being proud of my ideas, creations, myself!

I feel myself pulling back now. 

Once again I have the desire to do better,  learn more, hone my skills. 

I am starting to crave that feeling of accomplishment that comes with creating, organizing, rebuilding.  

I might even be feeling the urge to do a little excercise. Get myself moving again. I am not overly worried about losing weight anymore but I am going to cook healthier meals and cut out some of the snacking we do.  

I also know I need to start writing again.  For me. I know how important it is for me to express myself to try and sort through some of this baggage I carry with me on the daily. I don't want to go to a therapist so I need to do what I can do to work through some of this inner turmoil and confusion so I can be the best me possible 

It may not always be overly thought provoking stuff but I know that there are lessons in the most mundane things. 

My goal is to capture my days, ideas, memories, thoughts, magic.  

 Its been almost a year since I felt like me. 

I don't want to loose me again


  1. Hi my sweet Cassity. I am so glad you are seeing more stars than darkness again. Remember, there isn't a deadline on mourning. Day by day, week by week, month by month and years to come, the memories will make you smile more and more and your heart will be lighter. Do not be hard on yourself, if one day you slide backwards a bid, it is a process and a journey to yourself again. Light and love!

  2. Hugs, hugs and more hugs! You can do this! :)