Forgot to buckle up!

Its been almost a year since my dad passed 

It's been almost a year since I lost track. 

It's been almost a year if self abuse

It's been almost a year of avoidance 

It's been almost a year since I stopped taking care of myself. 

It's been almost a month since I started to feel a slight change in my head. 

I have been doing a bit more sewing this last few weeks trying to get back into it. It has been somewhat frustrating but it's starting to be fun again. 

I have missed that feeling.

I have Missed being proud of my ideas, creations, myself!

I feel myself pulling back now. 

Once again I have the desire to do better,  learn more, hone my skills. 

I am starting to crave that feeling of accomplishment that comes with creating, organizing, rebuilding.  

I might even be feeling the urge to do a little excercise. Get myself moving again. I am not overly worried about losing weight anymore but I am going to cook healthier meals and cut out some of the snacking we do.  

I also know I need to start writing again.  For me. I know how important it is for me to express myself to try and sort through some of this baggage I carry with me on the daily. I don't want to go to a therapist so I need to do what I can do to work through some of this inner turmoil and confusion so I can be the best me possible 

It may not always be overly thought provoking stuff but I know that there are lessons in the most mundane things. 

My goal is to capture my days, ideas, memories, thoughts, magic.  

 Its been almost a year since I felt like me. 

I don't want to loose me again