It's GraMel's Birthday!

Merry Moose Knuckle Monday!!

I am gonna bet there will be some Xmas morning sightings that could be captured by new gifts of phones and cameras. 

It would make this CaMel's Birthday/Xmas pretty damn special to see everyone was able to enjoy the THRILL of the Magic MOOSE KNUCKLE.

So your mission should you choose to accept is to 

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep a close eye out and be ready to capture a rare Xmas Knuckle!

When do I make people afraid of me?

I was reading through this "18 Questions Everyone's Too Afraid to Ask" and came across this question that made me think. 

"When do I make people afraid of me?"
The comment on the bottom read:
 "All of us have more power than we think—whether it's over an employee, a spouse, a friend or our kids. How do you use it?"

I am very aware of my ability to intimidate folks. 

I am a mother. 

 I have used fear to initiate chores, better behavior, school attendance. I knew it was not the correct manner to accomplish things but I was never taught the skills to cope any differently. 

There are certainly times I present myself in a way that will intentionally keep people at bay. 

Other times it is purely their perception of the 'cover' they see.  

So that leads me to ponder what fear is?

I believe fear is fueled by assumption. 

I hear my dad's voice saying over and over "assuming makes an ass out of you and me". 

He was right. 

We assume that due to our actions/others actions /situation that something bad/uncomfortable/scary will occur.

 Naturally we don't want to be in that kind of situation so we allow fear to keep us from moving forward. 

I don't feel I have ever given anyone a reason to 'fear' me due to my actions.

 I am well aware that some 'fear' me due to their own assumptions. 

When people bring harm into my bubble there are ample reactive actions I have available to me. 

I believe the only way to protect myself, is to remove myself  from the person/situations/place. 

In the past using this measure of self preservation has occasionally instilled fear into those who created the situation. 

That made me uncomfortable as I know that feeling fear gives what/who you are afraid of  'power' over you, your thoughts and actions.

I don't EVER want that kind of 'power'.

 Its not healthy

My own experiences have taught me that spending so much energy on something you have no control over means you are not spending that energy on what truly matters. 

Your own self growth.

I am selfish.

The 'powers' I do have guide me through the challenges of being a good huMan so I can love myself. A struggle on the best of days! 

  I am worthy and with that knowledge I am able to feel and share love with others.

Mindful that the cycle begins again. 

As with love comes risk and with risk comes fear...

BUT 

With communication comes better understanding.  

With understanding comes compassion.

With compassion comes love.

With love... comes peace.

Those thoughts of peace, if only inner, take all my fears away! 

EDIT

In using myself as an example I wanted to show just how our fears cloud our judgment.

Fears make people hostile, They stop knowledge from being absorbed, they can replace reality and leave us lost.

Fears start wars, stop positive movement and end lives.


Our fears hold more power than necessary and we need to try to put them into perspective

My pet Dragon!

I am a VIVID, Lucid dreamer and last night in my dream I had a 'pet' 'elf' dragon and he was the light of the world where I lived. He was shot by some people and passed..

The days after his death people showed their respect by making their curtains a triangle to represent his pointy ears. When I looked across the land it warmed my heart to see all the love and support. in the windows.

The moral of this dream is no matter how alone we may feel there are places we can go where you can find warmth and empathy to sooth your soul.

It is within that knowledge I found my AWW for the day.

This Camels Constitution.

I am often reminded by my brother how our lives started out the same and I should be thrilled when he tells me I am just like our father or  that I was "raised" right. 

His words fill me with anger and disappointment as I am then reminded how very different our lives actually have been. 

Now I am very aware that my early education was critical in helping create who I am today. 

I also know that our mission when raising our babies is to fill them with the knowledge necessary to live a life filled with wonder and joy.

When I left home at 13 I did so with wisdom that only comes from being broken. 

I had learned the very important lesson that the only person I could trust is myself.  

It was up to me from that point on to instill in myself those traits that would help to create a person I could be proud of.

In following years I made those bad choices that have hurt both myself and others.

It became obvious very early how different I was from other people. 

It was with that difference in mind I decided it would be prudent to have a warning label so people would be aware immediately of the hazards that may result from interactions with me!

  I installed on my ass, the well known symbol for POISON so there would be no confusion as to the level of danger that can result from interaction.

 This is another fine example of how I use those early lessons in present day life

 Consent is Critical. 

Recently a situation arose in my world where another's actions affected me in a manner I had not felt for years.

This time healing will be fueled by understanding and compassion as years of personal growth now reside within these HuMMps. 

It is there that I have tucked all those things I have learned along the way.  

How I judge if I am on the right track to being the person that my parents were not.

For THAT is my mission. 

And this is my mission statement

Do I practice what I preach. Standing behind my words with conviction. Regardless of the outcome.

Can I recognize when I am wrong and put in the effort needed to seek forgiveness, apologize and make amends?

Am I  able to help people feel comfortable in my company or does my overly in your face personality push people away before they have a chance to get to know me?  

Do I have the patience for those situations that test my limits or do I make others uncomfortable when faced with not getting things when I want then?

Can I remain calm in the face of adversity?

Am I able to hear criticism about my actions without reacting defensively. 

Can I recognize when I need to step back and regroup and avoid harming another by uncontrolled emotion?

When I find myself f challenged daily by those who fill the air with anger and adversity am I able to step back and assess the entire situation. taking all things into consideration as I attempt to   understand another's views.

Do I stand up for what and who I believe in and is that support cultivated in a manner that encourages positive outcomes?

Do I feel what I am contributing to the world has the ability to make a difference within the bubble I exist?

Do I remain optimistic even when my good intentions continue to go awry?

Does I allow my ego to be  take hold and drive me into a wall or am I able to remain grounded no matter my good fortune?

Do I know the difference between fantasy and reality? Want and need?

Do I trust my intuition even when its truth isn't suited to my tastes? 

When the universe shares another life lesson with me , am I able to embrace the knowledge and utilize it in my life? Or, am I a stubborn return offender whose fate is determined by a array of wayward decisions.

Am I able to embrace the beauty that lies within, feed it with love and allow it to blossom no matter what the 'outside' world may believe beauty to be. 

Am I able to forgive those who chose their own selfish satisfaction over the safety and well being of another.   Will I stop and examine who they are, where they came from and what may have contributed to their harmful actions? 

Am I able to apologize with sincerity, allowing others to feel they have been heard, understood and not taken for granted. 

Am I able to share my feelings openly with those I love so they always know how important they are in my life. 

Do I accept that others opinion of me can often be created by their own fears and insecurities? Does that knowledge empower me or anger me?

Can I practice patience while being judged, smile while being sneered at and accept as unconditionally as possible while not being accepted myself?

I do not like the celebration of Christmas..

I do not like the celebration of Christmas.. 

Not because I am NOT religious.. 

NOR is it because it IS MY birthday.

I don't like this holiday because it brings out the WORST in people as they deal with feelings of Inadequacy, competition, guilt, duty, anger, shame, expectations. fear.  All feelings that make an individuals struggles during this time even more difficult that any other time of the year. Forcing people into a world of darkness that even the strongest have trouble overcoming.

These very things do not represent the joy, love, inclusion that Christmas is "supposed" to be all about.  They represent a society that is ruled by all the things that are the most UNIMPORTANT in life.....GREED!

Yes the season brings a form of giving. I struggle with the fact we are not sharing that compassion all year long?  

IS there a reason we do not supporting our poor, veterans or homeless.  
Why do we not take care of our mentally ill, our abused or our elderly in a manner  That we would want to be taken care of ourselves should we be in that situation. 

We certainly cant be proud of ourselves, our country as we are failing in these areas. Holidays or not!! (does that show you something?)

Christmas is JUST ANOTHER DAY.. Made important for reasons that may have been noble at the time but the few that still follow that idea are just that, a few!

I don't mind you celebrate this day.. But do me a favor.. Be real about it.  

Teach your children that it is NOT about what you get but what you give.

That giving should not be of a monetary value but in the currency of kindness, compassion, sharing, understanding and community.

That the most important thing you can receive for the holidays is the ability to continue to exist in a world where we are the creators of our happiness.

Perhaps change can happen.

Perhaps we as a society can give EVERYONE the freedom that religion has has the pleasure of for centuries. 

Perhaps with the opening of peoples eyes they will learn that we can be a strong society with rules that come from informed, proved experience rather than a story book.

Perhaps change can happen, it seems like the time has finally come.

May we always be Grateful. November 11 2015

Bravery comes in many forms.. 

Today we honor the brave that is within the men and women that put their lives before ours to serve and protect this fine country of ours.

They are often humble, strong, dedicated individuals that believe in freedom and peace.

They spend their lives in highly stressful situations and return to their families with scars that can impede them from enjoying the very freedom they ensured we had.

Those outstanding individuals deserve our respect, compassion and support.

Most of all they deserve to be remembered, honored and celebrated for protecting where we call home.

Thank you can never encompass my gratitude.